Is this a joke?

April 1 in the UK is also called All Fools’ Day. People have until 12 o’clock to play tricks on each other.

Newspapers, radio and the television also like to join in. A famous example from years ago was a very serious television programme about the Italian pasta harvest, showing spaghetti apparently growing on bushes.

This year’s jokes included a report saying that Shakespeare’s mother was French. A very serious newspaper had a story about ferrets (fierce little furry animals) digging tunnels for internet cables. Another newspaper invited readers to lick a page, which it said would have a mysterious taste.

New rules for football clubs?

The government is planning to let football fans buy their football clubs if they win the next election.

The idea is to give fans far more say in how their favourite clubs are run. Several well-known clubs have run into financial problems recently, including Portsmouth.

The plans would mean part of each club would be owned by local people. If a club is to be sold, fans would have time to put together a bid to buy the team themselves.

Government workers have to be quick

Government workers are very unhappy about energy-saving lights in their office toilets.

The lights switch off after ten minutes. Many people have been left in the dark in the toilet. They say it is “undignified and unsafe”. The government wants to save lots more money and is likely to install similar systems in more offices.

New drug to be banned

There has been lots of publicity about a legal drug called mephedrone. The drug is actually for feeding plants but has been taken by lots of people, partly because it is not illegal.

But mephedrone, which is very cheap, has been linked to several deaths. Now the Government has announced that the drug will be banned by the end of the month. This means that anybody who uses it or sells it could go to prison.

by Susan Young
susan@englishuk.com